Marie (ghey_secks) wrote,
Marie
ghey_secks

finals done and birthday!

Hello!

It's been a really long time since I updated. I've been reading fanfics lately, and I ended up stumbling upon this journal :) It could use a fresh post.

Looking back, I was definitely pretty emo at some points in high school, but things are definitely looking up now. I had a really horrific time at UNH with some terrible backstabbing people, but I made it into vet school! I'm currently updating from Philly after I just finished my physiology final today! I'm heading home on the 25th for break. Hopefully, I can have a great birthday at home. While I've been scoring in the career sector of life, there have definitely been some unfortunate things happening elsewhere. I've lost contact with Marco, and we haven't spoken in nine months. The longest we'd ever gone before was eight months. It haunts me every single day. My problem is that I get angry and stubborn, and during that time, he disappeared. I'm becoming more okay with it, I suppose. I like to think that if he's truly meant to be in my life than he'll be back at some point. I hope everything in his life is working out the best for him and that he's happy.

Simple Plan is still by far my most favorite band in the world. Over summer 2013, I took a break from working since I'd found out I'd gotten into vet school, and I realized that I fell right back into my little niche: WRITING! I didn't get to finish my story that I started over the summer, but I think about it often. I miss writing. I miss a lot of things about myself. I hate to sound like a depressed fucktard again, but I miss the old me every day. Although, I have learned a lot about myself. My current "side-challenge" is learning how to stand up for myself because I'm horrible at it. People have been walking all over me my whole life. I know I've got a lot of learning to do, but I guess it'll be interesting, and that first day I shut down some cunt is going to be absolutely magical. I sure hope it actually happens. I don't know what goes on in my mind, but my brain freezes. I think my inability to respond to a bitch logically happens for two reasons: 1) brain freeze, and 2) afraid of starting a fight/drama.

It's my last night of being 22. After my final this morning, I came back to the apartment and cleaned forever. The apartment is super clean now! I had opened all the windows earlier to air out the place. There was a glass full of Valentine's flowers I bought for Alain, and the some random thunderstorm rolled in. The wind was so hardcore that it knocked the glass on the ground and smashed it! I saved the flowers though, and then I ended up being a ninja and saving a vase that fell from the kitchen window right after the flowers went down. Anyways, later I read some fan fictions :P and then started rewriting some neuroscience notes. Fuck this class already!

Anyway, I guess I'm ultimately happy that I achieved my greatest aspiration in life. I just wish that someone special was around to make me remember to smile for real once in a while.
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